Alleviation
by alithealligator
Summary: Jeremie finds that some of the most meaningful conversations one ever has is with no one at all.


Author's Notes: Firstly, I'd like to thank my friends Kasey and Archana for editing this for me. Otherwise, it would have not been so great, and I really appreciate them checking it for me. They rock!

And before we continue, I think I should probably say that I do not own Code: LYOKO, nor do I own any of their characters or whatnot. I'm just… borrowing them for a while. That's cool, right? Heh.

Well, the inspiration for this story was… Basically, the idea just popped into my head and I wrote it (mostly) all down. I had to go in and write a beginning a few days later, but for the most part it was written in one sitting. It's just how I write, I suppose. I hope you enjoy it! Feel free to tell me what you thought, I really appreciate comments on my work, good or bad.

Summary: Jeremie finds that some of the most meaningful conversations one ever has is with no one at all.

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Jeremie stowed away the completed homework that Mrs. Hertz had assigned that morning; he had waited for the evening to do it instead of doing it during class. He hadn't been in that great of a mood the entire day, choosing to stare off into space during the spare time he had after completing assignments instead of doing anything productive. But, since XANA hadn't attacked that day, he thought he could afford to so as they hadn't needed to go to Lyoko. He sat down on his computer chair and swiveled around to face the screen, feeling more tired than he usually did at this hour.

He stared at the mostly blank screen, seeing his reflection in it. He looked a long while at himself, noticing over time that he looked more tired and stressed than he had been when Aelita was still on Lyoko. This had to do partially with the anti-virus fiasco, but he knew himself better than to think that was only it. He sighed softly and removed his glasses in order to rub his eyes with his forearm. What was wrong with him?

The blurry red numbers on his alarm clock became clear as he placed his glasses back on. The clock read 9:57 PM. That wasn't late in the least, but he had a feeling he'd be awake until about four in the morning; that had been the case for the past couple of days.

He thought, vaguely, that he might as well try to go to sleep, but that idea was quickly shot down, as he knew that it would simply be a waste of time. And wasting time was not something he could afford to do.

With a few clicks of his mouse, he brought up the bare code to the anti-virus he had been working on (although the holes and gaps in it were very apparent, and it was nowhere near complete.) The sight only depressed him, as he had no ideas what to do next. He closed the program, feeling woebegone.

He looked over the different programs, and his eyes fell upon the one he used in order to speak to Aelita. Without really thinking, he opened it, gazing at the blank window.

He stared at the luminescent computer screen as if transfixed by it. Then, softly, tentatively, he spoke. His lips barely moved and anyone standing at the door would think that he was just as silent as before. "I..." He exhaled slowly before leaning forward in his chair a bit, as is to make sure that he wouldn't be overheard. "It's nice... having you here."

Anyone who witnessed that scene would have been very confused, as there was no one in the room besides himself. Perhaps Jeremie had finally cracked and had come to believe that his screen would talk back to him, just like Aelita had done? Well, that was partially the case. No, Jeremie was not insane. He did not expect a response, but was indeed talking to the screen as if Aelita was still behind it, waiting in Lyoko for Jeremie to call upon her.

He continued to speak, his voice a little stronger than before, although it was still near a whisper. "I really am happy that you're here. Don't get me wrong on that." He leaned back onto the back support of his chair and folded his arms over his chest, staring at the screen. "But... I do sometimes wish that you were still... here. On my screen." He closed his eyes and his brow furrowed, his conscience squirming uncomfortably inside his heart. "I know that sounds really selfish. But... it's true." He opened his eyes, and his voice became normal in tone and volume, as if he was really talking to a living, breathing person.

"I sometimes think it was easier to talk to you like this. I mean, before you came, I could talk to you about anything at all, knowing you wouldn't judge me or..." He drifted off, before adding, rather quickly, "I know you're not the judging type, but... you know what I mean." Satisfied with his 'apology,' he continued. "My point was... now that you really know what its like to be here, you aren't as... naive. I can't tell you tell you anything and everything anymore. And... I miss that. You were the only person I've ever been able to do that with, and now I feel as if that's gone."

Jeremie couldn't really explain how he was feeling to himself, now. He felt very relieved, as if a great wall had collapsed around him, but he also felt foolish and embarrassed for admitting something like this. He placed a hand on his forehead and looked over the screen.

"But I don't want you to think I don't want you here. Because that's not it at all. I love having you with me. I love..." He paused, before his face began to glow a faint pink, and he muttered a "Never mind," under his breath. After a few moments of thinking of the multitudes of things he could have continued that thought with, he regained his composure and placed one leg over the other while dropping his hand back to his side, staring at the screen.

"Anyway. Yes, it's wonderful that you're finally with me, but... I can't help but be... afraid." He paused, as if for dramatic effect. "It's just that you're so kind, and you're so pretty and amazing... I know that once everyone gets to know you, they'll love you just as much as I do." He sighed and looked to the floor, his eyes narrowed. "You'll become the most popular girl in school. Every boy will want to go out with you. And what chance will I have? I know there are other boys smarter, funnier..." He paused, but finally admitted defeat and added, "and better looking than I am. Why would you want someone like me compared to all of them?"

And now, sounding less spiteful and more genuinely sad, he said, "I keep trying to tell myself that that won't happen, that we'll always be together, but... I'm not so sure anymore." He looked back up to the screen, pleading. "Do you understand now? When you were in Lyoko, I didn't have to worry about things like this. But now that everyone knows Aelita Stones, I'm bound to be left behind."

He stared at the screen, wishing that Aelita would appear and tell him that he was wrong, that she'd never fall for anyone else and that she'd be his forever. But when this didn't happen, Jeremie felt a stinging in the back of his eyes, and he once again removed his glasses in order to rub his eyes. He replaced them rather forcefully, angry with himself for not being able to control his emotions. He was silent as several minutes went by, and his anger slowly melted away into sadness once more.

His voice wavered as he spoke again; he was surprised that he was even bothering to continue. But, despite what his brain told him, he did feel better talking about all of this. "But, perhaps I'm over thinking this. I know that you're a loyal person and wouldn't leave us..." He found himself smiling as he thought of something else, and his tone lost the wavering quality it had before. "You've always seemed, to me, like a person incapable of anything unpleasant. I suppose I'm guilty of romanticizing you, but... you've always seemed perfect. No, you always were perfect." He leaned back in his chair and stared at the ceiling, unaware at how quickly he had changed gears. "I can't... even think of anything I don't like about you. But that's not really a surprise."

His heart warmed considerably as he thought more about her, and he found himself smiling sweetly at the screen. "I wish I could tell you what I think of you. I wish I could really say how you make me feel when you smile... how beautiful I think you are, how happy it makes me to be able to touch you..." His smile flickered for an instant. "But we both know I'm too shy." He sighed. "I'm both scared of losing you and scared of telling you. How does that make sense?

"... But I've already learned that... love doesn't really make sense to begin with."

He let these words linger in his mind. He then straightened himself, and said, determinedly, "But I will tell you. I'm not going to let you pass me by, Aelita. You can mark my words; you and I will be together. I'll make sure of that." He was surprised at how straightforward he was being, but he liked this more confident him. He even had thoughts of getting up that instant, marching over to Aelita's dorm room and professing his undying passion for her, but he found that the more he thought about it, the more he fancied hiding under the covers of his bed for the rest of time.

"I don't understand how Odd does it," he said, rather red in the face. "He has the nerve to ask out every girl in the grade, but I don't even have the courage to ask you. But..."

He bit his lip, finding it hard to say what he wanted in spite of the completely empty room. "But... I do... love you. I hope you know that."

His heart was still beating twice its regular pulse even after he had said it, the adrenaline still running through his veins. As he put his hand on his heart, as if this action would calm it, he whipped his head around as he heard someone knock three times on his door, and panic rapidly filled him. How long had they been there? How much had they heard? His eyes wide, he said, "Come in," trying to sound as normal as he could manage.

The door slowly opened and a pink head peeked through the small crack in the door she had made. "I... heard voices," Aelita said softly, looking around the room as if expecting Odd or Ulrich to appear from thin air. Jeremie was very glad to find that she didn't seem to have heard his last comment, as that would have been very awkward, indeed.

Jeremie spun his computer chair around fully to face her, now looking rather sheepish. "Yeah... That was me."

Aelita gave him a small smile, but still looked rather confused. "Who were you talking to?"

He looked at her for a few seconds, debating within himself on what to tell her. He finally settled on, "A good friend." Without warning, he felt very relaxed and calm, and he was certain that Aelita was to thank for this. He stood up from his chair and placed his hands in his pockets, smiling pleasantly at her. She returned the smile, although she was beginning to wonder whether or not Jeremie had slept for the past few days.

"You're sure?"

"Quite sure," he replied, nodding his head once before stepping towards the door. Aelita stepped out from behind it, she wearing her nightshirt with the scarlet A printed upon it. Aelita looked at his face, and after what seemed like more than a minute of silence, Jeremie grinned at her. Aelita couldn't help but return it, and soon she found that she was covering her mouth in order to keep herself from giggling. Neither of them really knew what was so amusing, but it didn't really matter anyway.

"You should probably get some rest," Jeremie finally said, patting her shoulder softly.

Aelita nodded and her hand fell to her side, before she placed both of them behind her back. "You should too, you know."

"As you command," Jeremie said, bowing at the waist with much gusto, "Princess."

Aelita smiled widely, and Jeremie felt his heart skip a few beats as she turned around in order to leave him for the night. But before she had turned to close the door, he said, softly, "Thank you, Aelita."

She paused, one hand on the doorknob. "For what?" she asked, still smiling.

Jeremie simply shook his head before giving her a small wave. "Sweet dreams." Aelita nodded and returned the wave before closing the door. Jeremie listened to her footsteps down the hall before they were no longer audible.

Jeremie turned around to face his room, his attention being brought back to the computer, which was still shining brightly through the half-darkness. Still smiling, he pushed his chair back under his desk and sat on his bed, before collapsing onto it without bothering to put on his pajamas. He found it odd, but slightly relaxing that thoughts were not buzzing around his mind, as they usually did as he lay down to sleep. Knowing the reason for this, he glanced over his chest to his screen, the computer making the soft humming noise it always did. Slowly he closed his eyes, and for the first time in what seemed like forever, he was asleep within moments, a large weight having been lifted from his heart.


End file.
